Wednesday, July 20

Open Pen >> Blood Might Be Thicker Than Water...



Open Pen - Don't Leave Those Words Hanging.


As a blogger I am more than aware of how good it feels to get your feelings out and written down. This process clears your mind a little, even more so when you hit that publish button and release those words to the world. Voila.

Sometimes though, you just can't publish a post, you can't share your inner most feelings even on your most personal bit of space for one reason or another. It may be the risk of upsetting family, friends, avoiding confrontation entirely or just pure shyness.

I thought I would help out other bloggers and writers by offering a little space here to write anonymous guest posts. Unless you want to be named, nobody will know where the post has come from, who wrote it or had these thoughts, this is Open Pen and everyone is welcome. This should make for some interesting reads and I'm sure we all have a post brewing that we wouldn't dare share on our own site. It doesn't have to be a rant, it can be anything you just need to offload.

First up is one that I'm sure a lot of people will understand in some way, it's one that would no doubt cause some kind of family rift should it fall under the wrong eyes and so just isn't worth the risk, but knowing the feelings are written down and distributed far and wide may just help reduce the bad feelings felt at the time of writing for this blogger.

They say a problem shared is a problem halved, so sharing that problem with thousands can only be a good thing right?

So here goes, my first anonymous Open Pen post from a blogger that shall remain nameless!


Family. 

"It is true what they say isn't it? You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Sad really as you would hope that family would be the most important people in your life, the ones to always be there to support you. But as I get older I realise that it doesn't always follow and that family will often let you down or cause you unnecessary pain and anguish.
My mother was always taught to respect her elders and do right by her brothers and sisters. Blood is thicker than water and all that jazz. I look at her now, 66 and totally broken - let down by those family members she stood by and supported all those years. At a time when she needed them most, they walked away and left her to fend for herself.
But who is to blame? Did they ask for her help over the years? You shouldn't give to receive I guess and so they were under no obligation to help her in return. Right?
 
The thing that I don't get though, is the lack of family spirit. The selfish streak that seems to run through some people. I am feeling that from members of my own family now and I am at a loss to understand how anyone can be so unashamedly one sided in their approach to family life. 
To me, family (and friends) come first above my own needs. For me, it makes me happy to give rather than to take. I make sure I help out when I can and I offer support when I feel it is needed. It seems some of those family members happily take but are not willing to give in return. Again, you shouldn't give to receive but where is their conscience? Why don't they see that everyone else around them is helping out and they are not doing a damn thing? 
I am not someone to stand for injustice, but sometimes it isn't my battle to fight. I think that is what annoys me the most - being helpless and being expected to 'accept who they are' as people. I don't want to accept it, I want to be able to shake them and tell them how selfish they are, that they are a disgrace and do not play an equal role to everyone else in the family. But what would it achieve? A family feud, bad feeling between everyone involved. 
There are never any winners are there? You sit on one side, knowing you are in the right, knowing you have done your absolute best for everyone. They are on the other side, oblivious to their selfish ways. If you say something then you lose, a feud starts and rarely ends. If you say nothing then you end up resenting them anyway. So what is the answer? 
I am a great believer in karma. It doesn't always give me the comfort I need at the time but I do believe that if you are so completely and utterly selfish, you will get your comeuppance in the end. I hope so anyway. 
In the meantime, I will protect myself against it all. I will not be like my mother, giving to those who don't deserve it. Family is not a one way street, neither is friendship come to that, and as much as you shouldn't give to receive there comes a point when the constant giving will get you down. There has to be a point when those people in your life start to give back, but if they don't then it is time to cut them loose. 
Blood might be thicker than water but that does not mean you owe anyone anything."


If you have any feedback on this post or advice for the writer, please leave a comment below. If you'd like to take part please forward your post to me via email.




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