Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Mama Life || Going Back To Self Employment Full Time


Last year I was offered a lunch job in a school and it came just at the right time for me. I needed a change and found myself floundering a bit at home with my artwork and blogging, so getting out, meeting people and having a bit of structure to my day seemed like the perfect answer. Over the past year I did lots of volunteering in class which I loved, but the lunch bit not quite so much. The back and fourth to school, little snippets of my day here and there just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere or achieving anything. My aim was to work towards a full time school job, which I still want to do at some point. With lock down and the staggered school runs, mask wearing and uncertainty at the moment, it all just feels too much, I feel I'm achieving even less than I was before lock down and it's massively taking a toll on my mental health.

To stop myself spiralling to a bad place, I've taken the decision to go back to working from home full time, as although the money isn't always reliable month to month, I just need to be in one place getting stuff done and it's just not working for me where I am. I feel like I'm just too old, like I'm constantly going to be looked over for fresh shiny graduates, that if I'm going down that route, then I need to break away now, refocus and get started with a fresh head when covid is sorted and the world goes back to normal. I am going to keep an eye out in case the dream job that fits comes up, but I'm happy to be back properly for a while at least.

I'm excited to focus on my blog work and art again and have lots of ideas, starting with finishing my second kids book which only has three pages to go! It's going to be nice having some time and some day time back, but I'm going to miss my midday cuddles with my own kids and seeing all the others, so it's the right decision but also a really really sad one as I feel I've worked towards something only for the rug to be pulled from my feet.

Onwards and upwards though and I'm proud of myself for taking action before things got bad and before I ended up getting signed off for depression or spoiling it for me completely. So you may be hearing from me a lot more from now on and seeing a lot more creativity - bliss. Talking of which, here's my latest Lincoln prints...

Happy hump day!