January 30, 2020

Life || Jan

January has been an utter shitter of a month in most parts. What started as a month full of positivity, motivation and energy soon dwindled into a mental health slip, extreme stress and an overwhelming worry about what I was doing with my life. We started off with a bad time over Adam's job which he's thankfully now sorted, but me being me instantly got my mind into overdrive worrying about him not having a job, us not being able to pay bills and losing our house etc etc. Having an over anxious mind isn't always a bad thing, but it's really been put to the test this month and not been a good thing. Later in January though, things have started to come back to normal. I feel a lot more settled and am making plans for the future in a positive way instead of feeling desperate to change everything. Money is still a concern, but better than being a mind numbing stress as it was a few weeks ago and best of all, I'm feeling much more positive and creative again, enjoying my job and making the most of what I have.

Alf has been really poorly the last week or so with a bad chest so we had a few days off together to get him better which was kind of nice and much needed after the last few weeks; he's back at school now, but still has a horrid cough and is waking lots in the night, it's like having a newborn!

I feel like I've really found my mojo again with my blog, feeling inspired to write more and get back into my photography. I think this time of year makes everything feel so much of a chore, so I'm really looking forward to spring time and seeing a bit more sunshine around the place.

My Etsy shop has been great this month, I'm not ready to advertise it too much yet, but I am enjoying stocking it up with prints and from this month I'll be adding new items such as pocket mirrors, colouring books and coasters which I'm quite excited about. Instagram feels like a bit of a slog, but I'm going to really work on the creative side of my Insta to try and build a bit of a community that way. Here's a little more about life in January...

Wearing - Despite feeling pretty rubbish most this month, I have tried hard with self care, treated myself to some new things with Christmas vouchers and tried to keep my hair and skin in good condition. Having been very stressed, my skin always takes a beating, so I've just tried to use gentle products and ease the soreness that seems to come with extra woes. I got myself a simple long length hoodie but it has a huge black fluffy hood which I adore as it can be worn casually or added for extra warmth when I want to look a little more glam. I've also been loving the winter hair bands especially the ones with sparkly decals from Primark (top middle) as well as a new leopard one from Tesco and my usual bandannas, I love having warm ears and they cover up even the worst of hair days. Otherwise, I've been wearing more mustard, blues and a little more casual/sea side/skater kind of style clothing which is very me. 

Food & Drink - I started January with the intention of not dieting as such, but listening to my body more, eating when I actually feel hungry, trying not to binge and not refuse myself anything. I'm not great with diets at the best of times, but my head is just not in the right place to mess around with my food right now. Restricting myself works for about a week then it all goes out the window, so I opted for a safer route. I've been pretty good considering the stress I've been under and the fact that food is usually my go to in bad times, but I did have two bad binge days which I'm not beating myself up about as it gave me chance to think about what lead me to it and how I can prevent it next time. For Feb, I'll keep trying to be good to myself and think about my health going forward. I did manage to lose 12 pounds in Jan, so it shows it is the right way to go.

Watched - I've watched heaps of TV this month and I have to admit I am a Prime/Netflix addict well and truly. The one I've enjoyed most has been 'Controversial' a show on Amazon Prime, from channel 4 which is a real life funny programme all about a couple that have a fling and end up with a baby - well worth a watch if you have prime. I've also caught up with all the U.S version of The Office which I really really enjoyed and I'm currently watching New Girl as we started watching the first series then stopped, but second time round I'm finding it much better. I've just finished Anne with an E on Netflix which is a period drama type show, not usually my cup of tea but it's so so good! The only bad thing is that it's been axed after three series, so some things will never be answered which is a real shame. On regular TV, we've been loving Eastenders and Last Man Standing, but that's been about it as Netflix and Prime have taken over our viewing.

Disliked - January has been dire, so for this months dislikes I think I'll put forward money worries. Money is such a crap thing to be worrying about but in reality, it is a scary prospect being short of cash and not being able to pay bills. Worrying about this though has just made me more ambitious to work hard and get where I want to be.

Loved - In January I've had some lovely support from a couple of friends which I can't even begin to explain how much good it did me. Instead of ignoring me while I felt crap or telling me to get fresh air, or man up, they really gently supported me with quotes, understanding comments and just knowing they really understood how I'm feeling and how best to get through it when I didn't have a clue where to start.

Most popular blog post - My most read/shared posts published in January were;

Favourite Photo - A favourite from January. A normal walk to school but we found the perfect little stick man twig and Soph was so excited! Soph took stick man to school to show her teacher and class mates, she was super happy.

So that was January for me, how was yours? 

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