For the last few months I've very gradually felt depression creeping back in and over the past few weeks, with a few added pressures and the usual 'January blues' thrown into the mix I've found it a real struggle. I don't even know what's going on in my head at the moment but I feel I need some sort of escape, some sort of relief from the pressures of being me just for a day or two. I only work part time yet I'm struggling to make myself go and be useful while I'm there. Certain people are really making me feel stressed and just keep on and on at me about things that are making me feel worse. The worst thing about this is that I think they know it too, yet they keep pushing. Why are people so shitty?
So here I am today, going back to basics with some self care and trying to make some easy plans to get me through the days, in the hope that I can make a shift before I start feeling worse. I dreaded ever feeling like this again and it's always scared me, but the good thing is that having been here before, I know things can get better. I just wish I could remember everything I worked through last time that helped, but for now I'm just going to write it all down, start by making less plans that are likely to cause me stress, take things easy, get more sleep, drink more water and do things that make me happy. As for the people that I'm struggling to be around, I can't really avoid them so I'll just be keeping distance where possible, keeping busy and conversations brief. If talks switch to something I find upsetting, I'm going to ask to stop it or simply walk away, I have to be kinder to myself for now.
If you're reading this, thank you. I'm not feeling 'OK' but I am OK in the sense that there is nothing to worry about, I just need things easy for a few weeks while I get my head back in place. There may be less posts, I may go a little quiet, but I'm here, just working on myself a little xx
