Mama Life - Collaborative Post
Finding someone special is a daunting prospect at an age, but for older daters it comes with a whole new set of challenges. As we get older we usually have more baggage, possibly bad experiences from previous relationships leaving us with our guard up, not to mention kids in tow, work commitments and everything else that comes with age. As I get nearer to forty, I see friends that have yet to find that special someone as well as couples that haven't quite worked out for some reason, moving on to find new partners. If you've ever been looking for love as an older person, you'll know that it's not easy and it's a total minefield out there! It is possible though, so here's some ideas to try...
Make peace with the past
Past relationships may have left you untrusting of others, you may be worried about being hurt again or introducing someone new to your kids. It's really important to try and make peace with the past, not necessarily 'move on', but more don't let it affect the future and let it stay where it belongs, in the past. You can learn from the mistakes or red flags raised from past lovers, but remember not everyone is the same, so treat each new person with a clean slate and don't presume the worst because it's happened before. If you've had a particularly bad relationship in the past and you're struggling to look past it, you may need some kind of counselling to get your head round it so you can finally make that peace.
Like it or loath it, dating sites and apps and all things techy are THE best way to meet someone nowadays, especially in 2020 where being in contact with actual humans is largely frowned upon! Whatever it is you're looking for, from companionship, full blown romance or even a quick hook up, there's plenty of help out there. You may not want to use a modern swipe type app, but there are plenty of sophisticated older dating sites uk wide too that can help you find your perfect match in the right location. As well as making matches, these sites and apps give you the opportunity to meet a lot more people, which will hopefully lead to the one perfect person, and you can also use ice breakers available on the sites and their super safe chat or video chat spaces.
Stick with it
There are literally millions of people to choose from, so if the right one doesn't come along straight away, don't give up! Stick with it and try and have some fun, you never know when you might make a friend for life or embark on a romantic adventure with someone unexpected. Try not to lose heart if you have unsuccessful matches or horrific dates, as they are all good practise and it's worth taking the time to find someone super special.
Something really important that's often overlooked when it comes to dating is self care, looking after number one. Now I'm not talking hair and nails, though if that's your bag then great! Things like making sure you're safe, learning to say no and ending things that don't feel right are all things that help make you feel better and ultimately make the whole process a lot easier. With a world full of wonderful people out there, there's no reason to put up with people or situations that don't make us truly happy. Always make sure you stay safe when meeting someone new too, by meeting in a public place, not giving out personal information too soon and letting your a friend know where you'll be. If you have kids then make sure to meet away from your children and only introduce them when you truly feel it's right, it's important to keep kids safe obviously, but not just from people, but by saving their feelings if things were to fizzle out before they've started. The last thing we want is one bad experience to put us off the whole thing, so by making the extra effort to add in a little self care and safety measures from the start, it'll make it all run a lot smoother.
When it comes to dating, as with most things - age is not an issue. You may want to take your time finding the one, just make new friends or find a new travel buddy, but whatever it is you're looking for, it's a big world out there and there's nothing stopping you!