Saturday, April 4

Son Instructions: Part One

Sometimes it beggars belief what my son can get up to. How we still have a house in one piece and that any of of neighbours still talk to us is beyond a mystery.

I've started compiling a list of thing's I have found myself having to say recently, which I'm sure will become one of many lists to look back on in years to come. 

It will be interesting comparing this list to his sisters, or whether I'll even need one for her (yes, shhh, please let me believe girls will be no trouble at all, just for a bit longer?).

My son, butter wouldn't melt.

So here we have it, a few of my latest barks that I've no doubt had to repeat on more than one occasion recently. If you'd like me to elaborate further please comment and I'll divulge, though I think they mostly speak for themselves.

Son Instructions Part One.

  • Plugs do NOT go in dogs.
  • Winkys (willies) are NOT for putting things in.
  • Coins do NOT live in your bottom.
  • Do NOT ride your sister.
  • Do NOT wash your hands with milk.
  • Mummy is NOT a donkey.
  • Do you think the cat LIKES wearing a bucket hat?
  • We do NOT clean things using spit (well maybe Mummy did once but we were in a hurry).
  • Please do not call her (our neighbour) 'crazy cat lady' her name is Marie. (Oops).
  • Dogs are NOT wheel barrows.
  • Pete (neighbour) does NOT want to see your winky!
  • Do you think next door like you singing about their old (dead) dog?
  • Do NOT use the toilet as a bin OR a washing machine.
  • The hoover is NOT a scooter.

Part one of many, I'm sure (hoping) many of you can relate!

Thanks for reading

The List


  1. Ha ha! Your poor dog! Children are all bonkers! Thanks so much for linking up to #TheList x (if the badge could link through to one of our blogs that would be awesome, thanks xx

    1. They are nuts :) badge is linked now, thank you for reading! Look forward to linking up again soon x

  2. It's all about the willies at this age! My instructions would all be willy related. I'm sure girls aren't this obsessed with their lady bits are they? #TheList

    1. Haha! They cant be! He finds it hilarious and even taunts the dog with it :/ lol. The sense of achievement from managing to stick something in the end of it too, aarrrgghhh!!!


Please complete this form or contact me direct at