Thursday, July 14, 2016

Why Us Parents Should NEVER Be Smug...

I've never been one of those 'holier than thou' people, which is maybe why I've never been one of those smug 'my kids better than your kid' parents either - I mean what is the point? I will never understand why people feel the need to make others feel bad, especially where parenting is involved.

I'm just happy to be here. Doing my thing. Winging it.

You know the ones - 'if your kids been to Tenerife,  their kids been to Elevenerife' and you can bet they will let you know about it. Every long, boring step of the way, they will be reminding you how their marvelous parenting (probably no different to yours) has worked wonders. Thus attempting to make you feel sh*t in the process - thanks for that.

Other than the fact that karma will most likely bite all of us in the arse if we are ever to be too smug - as a parent, the smugness will inevitably backfire and it will hurt, a lot more than a bite in the arse in fact.

So let's say for example your little darling Baldwin (who calls a baby Baldwin? If your baby is called Baldwin then wow, great name), slept through the night from day one because 'you are just so chilled out and awesome' that your magical baby is too? Well, let me tell you that at some point baby Baldwin could well make you pay for those joyous nights by being a tearaway toddler, one of those kids with a backwards body clock bouncing off the walls til 3 am or something equally as joyous later on - your time may come.  Never be too smug, just thank Jahobacho for those lucky sleepy nights while you can and don't use it to belittle anyone else. The last thing we need is to feel any worse on those dark days. It's awesome to share our joys, but there is a time and a place and a way of saying things.

If you need to be smug, please at least keep it to yourself - OK? Equally, feel free to find another well matched irritating smug parent to embellish your awesome tales with.

When it comes to things like the feeding stage, it's great to keep us updated with your journey. we just don't need to know that baby Baldwin took to it like a duck to water while someone else cries into their cornflakes because their child thinks food is the devil. That happy eater could one day decide that they will now only eat cheese crisps and that smugness you once felt over other struggling parents, will fade into the night like a soggy hobnob in a cup of tea. How'd you like those apples? Lets all share our highs and lows sure, but never brag at anothers expense. 

Someone recently informed me of how their new baby will sleep through the night just like their last because they are "not the kind of parent to take nonsense". I hope for their sake that's true, but they could just as likely get a baby that won't sleep unless it's being held, rocked, fed - you will do anything for sleep some days and won't care what it takes. The new baby could well have crazy scary reflux like my first and keep you awake with worry, you just never know.

Never count your chickens, never be smug and never ever think you are better at this parenting lark than anyone else. We are all on the same journey, in various situations, with different people and different children, I think in a lot of cases 'easy' babies are luck of the draw and no matter how chilled out you think you are, in the right situation that calmness can disappear in an instant. 

Be good to other parents and please don't be smug. It's not big and it's not clever, plus you are completely jinxing yourself for a total nightmare at some point!

I wrote this post because of my own experiences as a new mother, some recent encounters with 'smuggers' and the horrible moments of seeing others be made to feel like they are doing something wrong by others. Can you relate?