I don't know if it's my age or just the stark realisation that life truly is too short, but this year I want to be doing things and not making excuses. 2018 for me is the year of doing. I'm not going to set out specifics, but if there's something I've been meaning to do, or find myself wanting to do along the way, I'm just going to do it.
Lacking self confidence
Self confidence and lack there of, is a huge factor in holding us back from pursuing our goals and dreams. Really though, we're only letting ourselves down if we don't just pick ourselves up and try and ultimately still only letting ourselves down if we don't quite achieve what we set out to.
One thing I've wanted to do for years now was to set up an Etsy shop and list some arty bits, as well as self publish my own children's book. Now this may sound odd for someone that will be listing these things for sale, but I really don't expect them to sell. Not in a self loathing, I'm not good enough kind of way, but because frankly it is not the most important aspect for me. With these goals, the main thing is actually completing the process, uploading the art, sharing my store, illustrating our stories me and the kids have worked on over the past few years and getting it printed to hold in our hands. Although sales and making some much needed extra cash would be more than welcome, it really isn't the be all and end all and saying that out loud is very therapeutic.
Saying 'why not?'
This year, I really just think F**k it, why not? It's not costing me anything particularly, I'm not taking anything away from my family to do this financially or time wise, I have nothing to force myself to feel guilty about and only positives can come of it. Saying 'Why not?' after years of excuses as to why I shouldn't is again a welcome event. I think I finally realise that maybe everyone telling me I'm wasting my talent maybe isn't just saying it to be nice, maybe there is talent? Maybe there is something there that I don't see that is special, that they all see? Maybe not, but why the hell not chance it and do something different.
Thinking positively does not come easy to me. I often list the potential negatives, the million invisible walls in my path instead of jumping in and giving things a go. Thank you Anxiety. I'm not saying I will ignore these walls in every aspect of my life, but for my own development and creative outlets I'm knocking them down one by one and putting myself out there. My one lowly Etsy sale from a lovely friend may be the only one I get and do you know what? As sad as it is I don't even mind. I may change my mind at that when it's been up longer than a week and I've actually advertised it, but for now I'm just happy that I've actually done something, anything, a thing just for me. Finally realising that doing so isn't selfish, is pretty big too.
I don't know what this year will bring, but I know that I will be doing these few things I've talked about the past few years. I will embrace the fact that I'm managing to make a living from home and celebrate that fact for the hard work that it has been and even be proud of myself for the hours I've put in. It's not just about work, but other goals like wanting to improve my health, lose the weight, ride a bike; I can do this and one way or another, this year from actually doing and not just talking about doing, I hope it's going to be a good one.
I feel excited and happy about what's to come and what's happening. For me, this is a truly rare and welcome feeling!
What would be your one thing to achieve this year?