August 22, 2019

Healthy Mama || Health Kick Attempt #1574

I feel like I've been on diets my entire adult life and thinking back I have really from around 18 years old. If anything I tried had worked (and I've tried it all) I'd be slim and healthy, so clearly something isn't quite working for me long term. The problem I've had in the past is that I feel inspired, get stuck in, drop weight, get depressed, think 'what's the point? Then pile all the weight back on again. Repeating that process over and over again is pretty painful, which is why this year I quit 'diets' and instead have favoured fixing bad habits such as binge eating and trying to walk more. Getting back to basics, with more steps, more water and less binges has felt good, but I haven't actually lost any weight, which is what I need to do to be healthier long term.

I dropped a few stone with shakes, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Atkins, etc etc etc and it does all work, the weight does come off but unless you fix what's going on in your head I really don't think it's possible to keep it off, at least for me anyway. I think Slimming world had the most potential, but the group I went to was very boring, not inspiring and I left after a few months still not really knowing what to do, so I guess I was unlucky as I know others have great success. 

I hate the diet world

I'm not saying that I'd never try a diet again or that if I was offered a knock out product to review I wouldn't try it, but I certainly won't be forking out money or wasting time on any more diets or fads unless there's a really good reason for it. Fads are great for a quick fix, a dress that you need to fit into for a wedding, or needing to be under the weight limit to do a sport, but otherwise I do find it just goes straight back on if like me you have a bad relationship with food. I can starve, I can binge, but what I can't do is sit in the middle and just eat well; Until now that is when I genuinely feel that mentally I have sorted my relationship with food and have found myself gradually seeing it more as fuel than as an emotional attachment which is pretty huge for me.

The new 'plan'

The new plan isn't really a plan, but after hearing lots about intuitive eating it's the first thing that's made me stop, think and realise that it's not diets I need, I just need to listen to my body. Somewhere along the line I've got confused about food, instead of waiting for my body to tell me I'm hungry, I almost fear the hunger pains and find myself just stuck in a pattern of eating my meals at the same time and snacks in the middle, when a lot of the time I'm not hungry. I've even spent the last few years blurring the lines even more, eating constantly and going on a food binge so bad that I'm sick, or at least feel very sick. Now that I've managed to curb that habit, walk more and drink more fluids, I can tackle the food part more and after my first week and a 6.5lbs loss, I've found this has really helped.

All I've really done is to stop and think if I'm really hungry, not eating breakfast for the sake of it, or having a big evening meal if I don't want one. I'm trying to eat when I need it and not particularly restrict what I have as long as it's a good mix with a few healthy additions. If I want cake, I'll have cake, my body knows. Listening to my body has made a big change, I haven't really felt like I've done anything and I feel really good. Usually after a week or two on a 'diet' I'm in a foul mood, with raging hunger and on the verge of quitting, but not this time. I hope this will just stick, become a new habit after a while and continue to take me in the right direction.

I haven't yet read any books about intuitive eating, but I know there are some popular ones out now so I'll check those out and let you know how I get on! If you've read any you could recommend, let me know.

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