This time last year I felt I was counting down the days until I had to give up my baby. My baby of course being a four year old Alf, enjoying his summer before starting his school journey in reception. It all just felt so final, those long days and the start of a possible 14 plus years in eductaion. Alf and I had spent every day together since he was born and it all just felt bizarre, where did that time go?
I can't believe not only how quickly this year has gone but how much things have changed over that time. My squishy cheeked little boy has grown up so much, he's learnt so much, he's become even more amazing as a person and absolutely thrived at school, despite a rocky patch of not wanting to go in.
Last week, as we prepared for the end of term we were given Alf's school report from his teacher. Now we've had parents evenings over the year so far, but this report was different and for me, despite the world and his wife proudly presenting their reports online, this for me was more than a school report or some trophy of excellence.
This report for me is like a certificate for our parenting, it reassures me that all those times I doubted my abilities as a mother or worried I wasn't doing enough or that I was failing him for bit being able to afford nursery, all that was unfounded.
This report shows me we are good parents, I am a good mother and I have done a bloody good job. Alf really is a one off, he's kind hearted, thoughtful, clever, creative and just an around brilliant person. I am SO proud of him.
We did this.
With the help of his teachers he has learnt more and more this year and most importantly learnt to read and write.
I loved that his teacher nods at our home activities and tells us how he talks to his class about what he's done at home, what we've done together.
I love that this little piece of paper does so much more than just tell me my son is doing well, it heals wounds I inflicted on myself mentally as I tortured myself with self doubt. It tells me we have been great parents and brought up an amazing child. It tells me I am good enough.
I can't really explain without telling you about all my dark days how much good this has done me, but I'm so grateful to Alf's teacher and his words, his words that are more significant and important than anyone will ever know.