Thursday, September 27, 2018

Mama Life || Bitter Sweet Autumn

Autumn has finally arrived and what is my favourite time of year is now feeling a little bitter sweet.

I love Autumn, it's always a welcome time after a hot summer, especially with this year's heat wave. I hate being too hot and I'm not a fan of summer clothing particularly, so breaking out the boots, tights, coats and scarves to wrap up when the temperature finally falls is one of my favourite things. I love how pretty the world starts to look with all the coloured leaves and adore conker collecting with the kids (even if we never know what to do with them and they just sit going dry and wrinkly).

The last few years though I've noticed this time of year really difficult mental health wise and always feel myself dropping, despite all those things that make me happy about it. I guess that although I don't like being hot, I do appreciate the look of sunshine, the ease of dry days and longer evenings. My beloved autumn has become a little depressing and I'm not entirely sure why.

This year has been tough with Alfie losing one of his friends at just six years old, someone we would have collected conkers with, scrapped with on the walk home and it just feels so sad and odd that he's not here. I'm heartbroken for his family and everything we do seems to bring it all back ten fold.

I'm also not a fan of all the Christmas stuff appearing so early now. We started to see cards in shops etc during the summer holidays and as much as I love Christmas don't want it marred by months of decorations in shops and four months of saying 'no not yet' when the kids see it everywhere and ask if it's nearly time. I also find the thought of travelling at Christmas and pressure to buy things a bit much and I don't need those added thoughts just yet.

It doesn't help that at the moment our house is still upside down after our kitchen makeover taking three weeks longer than we were told it would and all going a little bit tits up. Our home is my safe place and the constant ins and outs of tradesmen or waiting around has really taken its toll, leaving me stressed and very anxious about everything even more than normal.

I really want to enjoy autumn and I'm going to try and have a more gentle week next week and see if I can try and pull myself back up again.

Hows Autumn going for you so far?