Saturday, May 06, 2017

Judgemental Mums Aren't Cool.

Let's stop the judging, please?

Have you ever heard the phrase 'Parent and let parent'? Well that is the basic message of this post and although to some extent we all judge, it doesn't always need to be vocalised as we never quite know what someones story may be. To quote another fitting saying, 'opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and some of them stink'. Bang on right? Just to cement my point even further, the old classic 'if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all' is also very fitting.

I'm honestly sick and tired of seeing derogatory, judgemental comments and sweeping statements made by Mums to other mums, with little regard to feelings and zero clue on others personal stories and situations. Just because things aren't being done your way doesn't make it wrong. For that person it could be very right regardless of facts or figures, you have no place to pass judgement, or at least not publicly.

Take for example a pro breast feeding mother that decides to verbally bash a bottle feeding Mother (it happens, and it happens both ways, why?). For starters, it's nobodies business how that lady has chosen to parent, but what if say she was in the middle of chemo treatment and unable to breastfeed, but had really wanted to. Imagine for a second how truly shit she would feel? This is an extreme example to get my point across, but the thing is none of us are experts, none of us are perfect and none of us can know why other mums do the things they do. I've known two Mums that were in that exact position too and they are no longer with us. Things like that really hit home as to why this rise in judgement is so wrong. Life really is too short to feel, or make others feel any less than brilliant.

The Mum that lost her shit in the supermarket that day probably wasn't a terrible mother, she was probably at the end of her tether, maybe she had lost a loved one or caught her husband having an affair? Or simply had one of 'those days' that we all know so well. That Dad that everyone thinks is lazy, maybe he work nights to support his family or has a hidden illness. Seriously who are we to judge?

As Mums (and Dads) ourselves, we know hard all this can be. If anything, we should support and build each other up, whether we agree with their choices instead of constantly trying to beat each other down as if it's some kind of Mum of the Year competition. None of us are perfect and we all do things for our own reasons.

Parent how you want to parent, feed how you want to feed, wear all the makeup, use the car seat that's right for you, and let others get on and parent however they choose to too. Find positives and make people feel good instead of constantly trying to make others feel bad or guilty. As long as children are safe and loved, that is all we need to worry about.

I think it's really important to share this message to make all our lives easier and put an end to the unkindness. Have you noticed a rise in parental judgement or been subjected to it too? Finally, cliche number 37654 - live & let live.