Day 1 for Miss Independent
As I write this, Alf is at his school and my littlest bear Soph is at her first day at preschool. I was pretty excited for this day, my first legit child free day in five years and finally it's here.
It's here and it feels mighty weird and so far I don't like it. I was happy Soph was happy to go this morning and also pretty accepting of my departure a drop off time, but I really do miss my babies.
I came home to the silence I had craved, with all the time for all the cleaning and work I'd set myself and just instantly burst into tears. Seeing their discarded toys and mess from breakfast before a busy school run sat there feels really odd, just knowing they are elsewhere (hopefully) having fun.
Coming home to an empty house is definitely not all it's cracked up to be and really feels like one of those 'be careful what you wish for' moments. I'm used to coming home and having a baby to look after or a toddler to play with, this is bizarre. I'll get used to it soon I'm sure and probably even savour the few hours solo as the weeks go on, but for today it's not nice.
Being alone being in silence and having freedom doesn't feel as good as I'd hoped it would.
Next week I'm meeting friends for breakfast and shopping while she's there, so maybe by then I'll feel a whole lot different, we will see. I can't wait to pick them up - maybe the chaos and noise isn't so bad after all!