May 19, 2015

This Boy

This boy is special, he makes me so proud and happy every day. If it is even possible to do so, I love this boy too much. Too much it hurts my heart thinking of anything other than right now and having him in my arms whenever I want. Calling him for kisses, cuddles, doing puzzles, reading stories and being us, the way we have been for nearly four years.

My life changed when I saw his little face and nothing had any meaning or relevance before that second.

Time is spiralling past us so fast.  It scares me and I know I should be looking to the future with open arms, but instead I'm grasping onto the right now and the past, terrified that one day it won't be like this or that I will forget it all.

Since I gave birth to his little sister our relationship has changed lots, we have less time as me and him and part of me is sad about that but part of me knows its even better now he has his little buddy, our 'Tiny Skipper'.

I'll never forget the time we had together just us and the mini adventures we have had so far, too many to name, and so many more to come with his sister. At the moment I feel so tired and low in energy I can't do all the things I want to but he is so good, he looks after me as much as I do him some days, just because he likes to. He brings me water to make sure I've had a drink, even though he knows he shouldn't play with the taps.
He brings me teddies to cuddle and he cuddles me when I'm sad. I love how he tells me he doesn't want a wife because he has me, for now this makes me smile so hard. He will innocently ask me why my tummy is so big and immediately tell me I'm pretty so as to not make me sad. He brings me flowers. He is fascinated by everything I do. He sat patiently for hours, maybe even days when I was pregnant and too tired to have fun, he never complained. He thanks me for everything, making tea, tidying his room, buying him clothes. He has the kindest heart and even feels bad for cats we see in the park in case they miss their Mummies.

When he misbehaves I mainly feel sadness for the fact that for that few minutes we aren't happy together like we should be. He is an amazing little boy, an amazing big brother and we are so lucky to be blessed with him. This boy is my best friend and always will be. 

I never thought I'd be capable of feeling this love again but out came his sister and there it was, just as strong, just the same, just as amazing. 

Thanks for reading.


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