May 02, 2016

To The Perfect Parent On Checkout 6

Nothing infuriates or upsets me more than parents belittling other parents, criticizing their choices or putting them down, especially in the midst of a tantrum.

We all know what a struggle it can be as a parent at times, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, there's actually an awful lot of tears, sick and poop too. 

An incident happened this week, where unfortunately, one very vocal shop worker who decided to not only insult my one year old daughter Soph for crying, but also my husband for not removing her from the store (what kid doesn't cry in a hot busy store?) and also for not 'controlling her behavior'. The unfortunate bit for her is that I was stood there with her. Ouch.

This situation is almost laughable, if it wasn't quite so insulting I may have laughed but not yet.

Soph was having a pram nap when her big brother decided to break out into some impromptu singing and wake her up, she was not best pleased and when she saw I was in the queue (in her least favourite shop) and she couldn't get to me she burst into tears, she was a tired, rudely awoken toddler that woke up in a hot busy shop and couldn't get to her Mummy  - I don't blame her for crying, wouldn't you?

Anyway,  Mrs perfect parent on the checkout was serving the lady in front of me, unaware I was Soph's mother and decided to vocalise her vast (and unwanted by anybody) wisdom on parenting. She insulted the noise my daughter was making, which quite frankly had it not been her it would only be another child, desperate to escape while their parents frantically dash for a new pair of pants or two. 

Mrs perfect parent then moved onto discussing my husband. Apparently if she were him she would have taken my 'poor child' straight out, it wasn't fair to inflict that noise on her and 'some parents are so selfish' blah blah blah. Oh.

Fortunately for her, she chose that day, my child and my husband to insult as I am not good with things like that, so instead of being angry like I could have, I just get quiet and upset. I frustrate myself with this but maybe it's for the best.

I let her know that I had heard what she was saying and that I didn't much like my family being discussed by a shop worker in such a derogatory fashion. 

And this is where it gets even more annoying.

Instead of apologising and justifying her response, she told me this...

"It's OK,  none of us are perfect. That lady had a kid too so she understood". I'm not sure if she thought I should be apologising or not but she was ridiculously insulting. She then went on to tell me that children like fresh air. Wow.

Here is what you didn't know 'oh wise one'.

  • It was chucking down with rain outside.

  • Our daughter has tantrums just like any other.

  • I have social anxiety and it takes a lot for me to go in there at all some days, you made it worse.

  • I've not long been back on my feet after illness, so I didn't want to be left alone - you sure wouldn't be helping me off the floor.

  • My husband was also trying to sort out our four year old, control the double buggy and hold all our bags which is why he chose to wait a moment for my help instead.

  • It was hot as hell in there and our baby was too warm, but refusing to take her coat off. See, as such a wise parent you will of course know that tantrums don't always make sense (like yesterday where she threw herself on the floor because I wouldn't let her eat a box of tampons - it's not always down to us parents being terrible, you know?).

I'm not writing this to justify our parenting choices in any way shape or form, we have nothing to apologise for, we were under no obligation to eject our crying child into the pouring rain simply to save your ears a minute of torture. A 'torture' that us terrible parents have to endure at times in order to get things done. 

I'm writing this because none of us have any right to judge others in this way. Any parent that has done their time sufficiently will know it comes with its battles, they will know that sometimes children do cry and that sometimes, you do have to go shopping to provide yourself with clothes. I'm sure my naked body would have caused greater offence, but that's a whole different story.

So Mrs perfect parent, in exchange for your wonderful parenting tips, I thought you may like some tips for working in retail, there is no need to thank me as - like you, I'm just talking about you publicly, which is fine as you said. *Insert smug face*.

It's not awfully professional to insult your customers. If you make a mistake you are probably best off apologising to your customer. Serve always with a smile and please less of the insults to those that use your services, which in turn pay the wages that feed your perfect, never crying amazing children.

Enjoy your journey, I'll enjoy mine.


  1. I hope you are sending this to the store customer services with full details of the woman in question as this is not good enough at all!!!! Shame on her!!! Nasty lady!!! xx

    1. Thanks Katy I have spoken to the manager and it has been dealt with apparently. I may send this to their HQ though :) felt much better for writing this xx

  2. I'd have been livid!! Apart from the fact the woman is an idiot, she was also desperately unprofessional. When someone elses baby has a tantrum instead of mine i feel their pain, we've all been there, done that. Oscar had a massive tantrum in Sainsburys a while back when i had all three of them in the trolley - by the time i got to checkout i had people staring but luckily the checkout assistant (young guy in his early 20s) was a sweetheart and so kind, another shopper came over and gave me a hug too. So this is me, sending a hug to you, that from one mum to another. You did well not to start throwing your shopping at that awful checkout lady.

  3. Oh man, I hope you complained to the store - if she can be that unprofessional with you guys, she can do it with a much more vulnerable customer. We've had a few instances with other people in the queue, which is really irritating. A woman the other day told Anthony he shouldn't have been buying formula milk for her as 'breast is best'. I wasn't even there so, for all she knew, the poor kid might not even have a mother! People are just so judgmental. x #friyaylinky

  4. Oh no! I have days like this too.
    I haven't come across such a rude member of staff yet though!
    I hate it when people are so judgemental, what gives them the right!!

    I do recommend you speak to the HQ also, in my personal opinion, managers don't take things like this serious enough.

    Have a great weekend!
    Sarah xx

  5. Wowzers! How awful for you. I'm shocked that someone could be so intolerant - especially if she has had her own children. Some people!! I'm actually speechless.. Well done for speaking up and following that with a formal complaint. Grrrrrrrrr... #FriYay

  6. Hats off to you for not ripping into her. I don't think my self restraint would have been as good as yours. I saw on the other comments that you followed it up with a complaint and I think it's totally justified. What a horrible, horrible woman. Currently going through the threenager stage with mine so you have my complete sympathy. (Next time, stay in there a little bit longer just to wind her up even more!) ;) #FriYAYLinky

  7. HATE people like this - all kids cry. It's normal. What isn't normal is being *this* unkind. Karma will get her - don't you worry xXx