I don't remember particularly dreading my twenties, though I do remember feeling super old when I turned 21. Turning thirty didn't really bother me when it came to it, but when I'd hit my mid twenties I did start getting a bit of a bad feeling about it, especially as life seems to speed up at that point too.
At the age of 34 now, I'm young in some ways and old in others. I walk through town and see teenagers that I could have legitimately given birth to, yet inside my head I'm often still that same nervous clumsy teen so it does feel strange. Having problems with my back and hips makes me feel really old and knackered at times and I had a time recently when I was shouted at by an old lady for not offering her my seat, when actually I was in agony with back pain myself and very much needed a sit down. I take that as a compliment though as to her, I must have looked like some young whipper snapper - score.
My Mum has always said that she enjoyed her thirties most of all and I'm definitely starting to feel the same for a few different reasons. I must confess that even though I have friends over forty, that age does daunt me a little as I feel that seems to be when health can deteriorate more and there's really no hiding from the whole adulting thing when you're forty plus, though I feel like I can escape it sometimes now.
I think it's good sometimes to take the time to reflect and look for all the positives, so here's why I am loving my thirties and feel the happiest and most content I ever have done.
I care less
This isn't bad like it sounds, but actually a great thing. I care about what matters with every ounce of my being, but all those deadly hang ups like weight, what people think of me and what other people get up to, I really don't care any more. What matters most is what affects my family, I care for other people obviously but anything negative is well out the window.
I'm more confident
Even though to meet me I'd come across shy and quiet, I do have a lot of confidence inside, I'm just not someone that enjoys being too 'extra' unless I'm at home with the family. My confidence has taken a long time to emerge, but it's there and I've managed to squash most of my self doubt.
I'm at peace with my body
I could slap myself silly for the years and years I have tortured myself with hating my body, my face, my ears, everything. At some point I've cried about nearly every bit of me and I feel stupid now. For every bit I've ever hated, I can now give a logical and sincere reason as to why I love it just as it is. My tummy being an obvious one, but it's housed two humans which is a pretty massive deal! My ears are like Dennis the Mencace' ears but now I see my kids with similar ones how could I possibly say anything bad about them? I think theirs are adorable! Life is just SO much easier when you accept finally what you see in the mirror and focus on the positives, whilst not caring what people think. Actually, since my mindset has changed I feel more motivated to exercise, to eat healthily and treat my body well. Isn't it weird how our mind works? The more pressure I put on myself previously, the more I have failed. No more!
I am wiser
I'm no brain box, but in a general 'life' learning way I am a lot wiser and it makes life a lot easier too. Knowing what to take seriously and what to let go over your head, who to have close and who not to, how to juggle finances, understand paperwork and always read small prints. It all comes with learning the hard way mostly, but now I can tackle most things sensibly.
Just recently I've found myself saying yes more. I've braved talking to people I wouldn't dare to, I've done things that I would normally run a mile from and I've not been afraid to put myself first sometimes and take some down time when I need it. I'm brave enough to walk away from people or situations when I need to and try anything life throws at me.
I've achieved what I wanted to
OK, so I never had huge wild plans, but I always wanted to find someone that loved me who I loved back. Someone that would love me for me, despite my many faults, quirks and often erratic but fabulous mind. I wanted to start a family, I wanted at least two children and I wanted to buy a home. Anything surplus to that is a blessing and a bonus, especially my blog which has come to be the best venture I've ever jumped into and now I'm starting to sell my art and hopefully very soon publish a kids book. Once I've done those I can tick off all my newer goals, but I'm happy that at this point I've done my key three.
I feel like me
Last and I think a quite important one is that I feel like 'me'. So often throughout the years you find yourself flitting between what you're into, what you want to wear, where you want your life to go, what makes you happy. Right now, I kind of feel like I have all those things figured out and I can honestly say for the first time ever I feel like me. I'm not particularly influenced by fashion, but if it's something I like anyway I'll embrace it ten fold. I dress how I want to dress, even if that happens to be like a lost 17 year old from 2002. I'm using my creative side in a way I enjoy, for pleasure as well as work. I feel pretty care free right now (touch wood) which means I can focus on what makes me and my family happy.
Are you dreading your 30's? Are you in your 30's and loving it too? Are you over 40 and want to enlighten me on the next stage? Leave me a comment below!