Sunday, October 11, 2015

A Real Mother.

This is so hard to explain properly so I can only hope some other parents out there will understand where I'm coming from.

It has taken me four years and two children to finally feel like I am a proper Mother. I spent so long just feeling like a hopeless case with a child or two in tow, that I almost felt sorry for them having to get guidance through life from someone as clumsy and useless as me. It's only now I can look back and see what an amazing Mum I have been, even from that very first second I saw that second pink line on the test. I have been so stupidly hard on myself and ridiculously let outside sources bring me down and make me feel I wasn't good enough. That is something that will never happen again. It's officially time to blow my own trumpet.

Looking back with positivity instead of those pesky grey clouds, I can see all the great things we have done together so far. All the happy times we have spent, all those hours, days and weeks that have flown past in the blink of an eye full of laughter and love and an oh so messy house - but who cares? 

Looking back at pictures and videos, the only thing that matters is us and my little babies as even littler babies, seeing the love for me in their enormous blue eyes. First steps, first smiles, baby chuckles and even little words said with an adorable little lisp. 

Looking back you really appreciate all the little things and I never want to be anything but happy and proud of myself from here on in. I have two amazing smart happy children and I am absolutely the biggest contributor to their amazing personalities, humour and intelligence, along with their amazing Father. Who would have thought back in 2003 when we met that we would find ourselves here, this lucky and this in love with two doting children, the mirror of us in every way. I love everything about us right now.

I feel stupid for wasting so long feeling that I wasn't good enough for my babies and that I didn't deserve them instead of just loving every second of every day. All that has changed now - I am a real Mother, I absolutely feel it now and I can say with all my heart that I have tried my very best from day one and say proudly that I have done a good job too. Finally I feel like a mother, a happy mother with an amazing little family.

Thanks for reading,


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