Tuesday, June 23, 2015

My Parenting Gripes

It's not always fun and games having kids and although the world doesn't strictly owe us favour, it could give us a freakin' break at times. Do you know what a year of broken sleep feels like? Sometimes I wonder how I am able to hold myself back instead of unleashing my wrath on some (non) innocent human beings that cause me to be more than a little enraged.

I have a few serious gripes when it comes to being a parent and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Now I can mostly put these gripes down to an inconsiderate list of A-holes, but that wouldn't be a very nice post, so I will try and be a little more subtle and not address them directly.

Those ride on things outside supermarkets.

OK, so do they really have to be outside and do they have to be a quid a pop? Jesus wept. If I had a pound for every time we got roped into those things to avoid the mother of all melt downs, well I'd have more money than I do now for sure. They should be kept behind some sort of screen, like cigarettes! The worst thing is that now at the grand old age of three and a half, my son doesn't even look like he is having that much fun in them and pretty much stares ahead for three long minutes until its over and he begs for another go. Kill me.

Parent and child parking.

This makes me mad just thinking about it. There is usually some middle aged arrogant looking arse in a beamer, sat in the last parent space as we struggle out of a regular space, getting the baby out before parking. We need the bigger spaces for our babies and toddlers, we physically need the space - we aren't just being precious idiots that can't park. Some total buffoon sat there because he doesn't want his wife to walk the extra few meters - or (god forbid) risk someone opening their car door into their car? Idiot.


I used to smoke so I am fully allowed to include this one.  I smoked (stupidly) but always consciously of others and never anywhere near children. I've had my children smoked on, a cigarette knocked on my sons arm (twice) and people even come and join us on a bench and then light up. Seriously? Jog on 'Fag Ash Lil'!

Touching my kids.

Woah there, I don't mean this in a 'call the police' way, I just mean more when strangers decide they can come and give baby a tickle, or squeeze their cheeks. If they are asleep it makes the situation even worse, I could literally commit murder if my sleeping baby is woken prematurely! I didn't like it when they did it to my baby bump and I like it even less now. Its harmless but if I don't know you - hands off.


I live in an area where people are notoriously terrible, inconsiderate and dangerous drivers. This is ever more apparent when you have children and constantly fret over keeping them safe. People driving like idiots, trying to make us go faster by sitting an inch from our arse in the car. We aren't going faster, we will go a safe speed and keep our children safe - thank you! There is also the ones that like to speed up when you cross the road, almost to teach us a lesson I suppose, luckily nothing bad has come of this, but to those people - you are truly awful.

Noisy toys.

We have had so many toys that make the most hideous noises. Usually as gifts to our children from people that clearly despise us or have no clue. These toys soon have their batteries removed - or in the case of the Shaun The Sheep toy that malfunctioned in the night and screamed like a banshee - have their voice boxes cut out with scissors, quite violently! Every toy that makes a noise should have a volume control, they are just crazy. Our most recent was a wooden chicken that makes a noise only comparable to a personal attack alarm I was given as a teenager, fun for no one.

Not Waving Back.

OK, I know they aren't cute to everyone, they aren't your kids, but if my three year old waves at somebody or politely says 'hello' can they not just  wave or say hello back? I hate it when people ignore children, just because they are young doesn't stop it being rude. Try and remember they are still happy and excited to be alive and the doom and gloom of adulthood is way in the distant future. It can really upset a three year old not getting that wave back so please reciprocate, it won't kill you and you won't be accused of being some kind of weirdo! I promise!

That's just a few of what I know are a great number of gripes we live with as parents. In the ideal world we wouldn't get snapped at for having a pram in a narrow shop, or having a crying baby, but as this world is far from ideal we just have to battle through with these daily irritations!

Thanks for reading,


The List

My Little Babog